STARLING WARS

The last few days we've been inundated with starlings. Huge fifty, sixty bird flocks of them crawling all over our bird feeders. Reminds me of a hot dog someone dropped on the ground at a picnic, all covered with ants.

I guess it's not surprising given that we just had another foot of snow dumped on us. It's hard for any bird to find something to eat. And it's not like I'd begrudge starlings a meal--everybody's gotta eat.

No, my objection to starlings is the way they completely overwhelm the feeders so no other birds can eat and the fact they throw all the bird seed on the ground. They can empty your feeders in a matter of minutes if you let them. And that's my money they're throwing into the snow.

So now the starling wars have been joined. I dragged my brand new Red Ryder BB gun out of the basement, filled it with BBs and parked it next to the patio doors. All morning today I've been keeping an eagle eye on things and when the starlings swarm the feeders, I pop the door open and let loose a shot or two.

I'll say this for them, they're persistent as all get out. They employ a system to sneak in the moment your attention flags. Most sit in high trees a couple hundred feet from the house and watch. When the coast seems clear, they send in a handful of scouts to attack the feeders. If there's no counterattack, the entire mass of them glom onto every feeder at once. Sometimes there are three or four of them hanging from the same suet feeder simultaneously. Amazing.

Then I remember to check, open the door and either shoot at them or simply yell, and the game starts all over again.

The blue jays, cardinals and chickadees seem to grasp what's happening and some of them won't even fly away when I counterattack. Of course the starlings are smart enough to figure out that if some birds are still there, there may not be any real danger, so they're returning to the feeders more quickly than they did when I first began my maneuvers. This could get old real fast. 

On a related note, I saw some birds here today I shouldn't be seeing yet. An eastern towhee came to the feeders about 11 this morning, something that has never happened before. What a towhee is doing in this part of Ohio at this time of year is something I can't fathom. I also saw a red-wing blackbird. You could barely make out his epaulets, which won't brighten until breeding season. They're generally harbingers of spring, but the forecast here is for snow, snow and more snow.

Also saw a yellow-shafted flicker this morning, which is a first. Strange day here, but with this much snow cover it makes sense. Birds that would never come to feeders have little option.

NB: Just discovered another way to scare the starlings real well. Plugged my iPhone into the external speakers I have for it and played the call of a Cooper's hawk and a great horned owl. Seems to put some fear into them for a little while.

THE TROUBLE WITH SARAH

Watched part of Sarah Palin's speech at the Tea Party convention last night. I'll probably go back and watch all of it today.

What I did see was just okay, not much more. I really don't enjoy listening to her speak for a number of reasons. The timbre of her voice grates on my nerves like fingernails on a blackboard. She needs to work with a voice coach to lower her voice a bit and make it less tinny. It's doable if you--like a professional singer--push the air out using your diaphragm.

She also needs to learn pace and rhythm. She steps on her best lines way too often by rushing on instead of pausing to let the applause come. Not hard to learn that either. A speaker knows which lines will draw applause, so they need to let the thing breathe so the applause can fill those natural spots.

I'd say she also needs to get a first-rate speechwriter, because her grammar and construction are often awkward and difficult to follow. She's very good with one-liners, especially those aimed at Obama. When she let's those fly she always pauses for the applause. So if she's a smart enough speaker to do that, she can also learn to pause for other lines that are likely to draw an audience response.

At times last night she sounded as if she were in a hurry to finish and get out of town. Slow down, girl, let it breathe. Give people time to process the words and respond.

She also needs to re-think some of her stock phrases and stories. When she talks about how she fought the oil companies on behalf of the people of Alaska you'd almost think she was a socialist. Alaska is unique among the states because its constitution, unlike those of the other 49 states--or 56 if you're Obama--gives ownership of all its natural resources to the people of Alaska. When they pump a barrel of oil out of the North Slope, Alaskans don't just get a severance tax or a wellhead tax on that barrel--they actually own it.

The Alaska setup is very nearly socialist, but that's how they chose to do it and it really is up to each state how they handle their natural resources. But few people understand the Alaskan deal, so for her to keep using that story makes little sense.

Most of my criticism of Sarah Palin has more to do with style than with substance. Too much of her style furthers the leftist meme that she's stupid, which she is clearly not. If, for instance, Fred Thompson--clearly the greatest public speaker in America--delivered her speech, it would sound completely different and would have a completely different impact on the audience.

Now she's never going to have Fred's golden pipes or his southerner's natural storytelling ability. But she can and must work harder at her craft if she wants to have a bigger impact.

Unlike Fred, though, she does have looks. When her hair's pinned up and she's wearing her glasses, she is every teenage boy's fantasy of the mousy librarian who turns into the vivacious vamp when she lets her hair down.

On another note, the Tea Party organizers did themselves and the movement no favors by handing the podium to a birther. Makes the whole movement look like a bunch of wackos and kooks. 

The Tea Party movement is so diverse, there are only a limited number of issues upon which most people agree. They need to stick to spending, debt, taxes and economic and political liberties. Once they get into the weeds of social issues there is little consensus. There's little common ground between the libertarians or libertarian-leaning folks and the religious right on any social issues. This reality is patently obvious--or should be to anyone with a little political astuteness--so they should at all costs stay away from the issues that could easily tear the movement apart.

I don't have a particular problem with the organizers of this convention charging $550 or whatever it was to attend. It costs a lot of dough to put on an event like this and if you're not filthy rich or have the backing of a national political party to defray the costs, you have to charge people to come. The bigger question is whether the movement needs leaders or central organization. The beauty of the Tea Party movement was its lack of centralized control and leadership. Perhaps, though, it does take centralized control and leadership if you're going to take the next step from the street corner protest to the election of candidates who share your values. We shall see....