NO MORE COFFEE SNOBBERY

If I had told you ten years ago that Americans would one day pay $4-5 for a cup of coffee you would have called me crazy. A shot of single-malt Scotch, maybe, but not a cup of coffee.

Well, the guy who started Starbucks obviously thought there was a market for snob coffee and he made millions serving it. Everybody just had to have their mocha choca soy non-fat lattes with sprinkles.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I've been grinding beans for my coffee for maybe 20 years. I've tried all the fancy coffees from all over the world, but frankly, I keep coming back to Columbian beans--decaf for the last 15 years or so.

And yes, I do have an Italian automatic espresso maker. It can do latte or cappuccino, but mostly the wand just collects dust. I use it to make regular coffee every morning. I guess technically it's espresso, but I make big cups of it, not those tiny little things you drink in Italian restaurants.

Us coffee snobs would never think to drink something like Maxwell House. And instant? Forget it. Only old people and rural rubes would drink instant.

But you know something, I'm drinking it from time to time these days. I bought an electric kettle--as the Brits call them--that can heat water in about two minutes and I pour it over a couple big spoons of freeze-dried instant. And you know what? It tastes okay.

I think the dirty little secret is, coffee is pretty much coffee. Yeah, you can taste the difference between Columbian and Sumatra Mandheling, but it's still coffee and it still tastes pretty much the same if you dump a bunch of liquid coffee creamer in it.

This holds true of many things in life. A Timex generally keeps time just as well as a Rolex. But the former has no cache to it while the latter screams "I have more money than I know what to do with."

Of course it doesn't hold true of all consumer goods. No one can make the case that a Chevy Aveo drives as well as a BMW. And even a novice can tell the difference between a cheap blended Scotch and an aged single-malt.

But mostly it's all about snobbery, trying to make yourself feel superior to your friends and neighbors. Not keeping up with the Joneses, but leaving the Joneses in your dust. And it's just downright silly.

The message seems to be sinking in with a lot of people--even before this nasty recession started. Starbucks is closing stores, not opening new ones, and their financials ain't good.

So do yourself a favor and just say no to coffee snobbery. It'll make you a better person and put more money in your pocket.